“When my son was first born, we had a rough start with nursing. Breastfeeding was something that was incredibly important to me: I had always dreamed of nursing my babies, for the health benefits and for the bonding. But those first weeks were nothing like the blissful bonding experience I had envisioned.
I knew something wasn’t right: as it turns out, my son had a tongue tie, a lip tie, and two buccal ties, in addition to just being overall small with a small mouth. Combine that with what I now realize was postpartum anxiety, and I would dread every feeding session, afraid of the pain and worried that my baby wasn’t getting enough to eat.
Even after getting his ties revised, we still had weeks of learning and trial and error, and many, many tears (on my part) before we figured things out. There were so many times I wanted to give up, but with my mom cheering me on and my husband’s full support, we persevered.
In that process, I felt myself raw, broken down, and vulnerable in a way I never had been before. I had to very honestly face my pride and preconceived, judgy notions of “I would never do [fill in the blank] if that was my baby” that I definitely had prior to my son being born. It was a big dose of humble pie and I hope that will stay with me for a long time as a mom.
An encouragement I got from a mama wiser and more experienced than I was that the babies who seem to be the “neediest” and require the most effort end up being the ones you are most bonded to.
I needed to hear that so desperately. I only have one baby, so I have nothing to compare, but I find that has so far been absolutely true with me and my son: he is a total delight and we are 100% bonded, not because everything went perfectly, but because of the love, stretching, and growth he asked of me right from the start.
No matter what your journey is in those first weeks and months of motherhood, I think that is the universal beauty and truth behind the struggle and sacrifice: you are given the baby that you need, and that is how you become the mom that your baby needs.” – Honora G.
Read more from Honora’s story here.
